So, the other day I was perusing an ad on our local (or possibly a semi-local) Craigslist, at which I arrived after not searching for goats, or anything goat related. However, one of the things listed was a goat, specifically a particular breed of goat they were selling. Their description of the goat was its milk was not goaty. Oh, that’s interesting, I thought. I thought all goat milk was goaty.

But I’m not getting a goat.

My interest was sort of piqued, though. A goat whose milk isn’t goaty? I still remember the look on the co-pilot’s face last summer when he tried a sample of goat’s milk cheese. It wasn’t pretty. Actually, at the time, I was really relieved that he didn’t throw up on me, the kids, and the people selling said goat cheese. But if I could have a goat whose milk didn’t taste goaty…well, that’s fewer trips to the grocery store, which is always a good thing. I hate going to the grocery store. Of course, it would mean a few more trips to the feed store, but that’s all right. I much prefer the feed store to the grocery store.

But I’m not getting a goat.

I couldn’t remember the name of the non-goaty goat milk giving goat, though. So I did what any modern person would do: I Googled “goat milk that doesn’t taste goaty”. And then spent the next couple hours reading up on, yep, you guessed it: keeping goats.

I am not getting a goat.

I really can’t have a goat. For one, the co-pilot has been more than accommodating to my little…shall we say lifestyle changes, but telling him I want to keep goats — and keep them here — would probably be the last straw. Even though every single time we drive by the goat dairy on the highway where they have the homemade plywood “GOATS 4 SALE” sign, and I’ve said “I want to buy a goat,” he hasn’t argued, but that’s only because he knows that I don’t really want a goat. (I do say that, though. But it’s more for luck than anything else. Long story.) So even though he always replies, “So get a goat,” I shouldn’t take that as actual support for keeping goats. Keeping them anywhere. Much less in our backyard.

I am not getting a goat!

For another thing, there are the neighbors to consider. They, too, have been accommodating to my chicken keeping, and I really shouldn’t push them any further. On the other hand…they really like getting free eggs. Who’s to say they wouldn’t also like some non-goaty goat milk?

No. I am not getting a goat.

I don’t know how to milk a goat. I don’t have time to learn how to milk a goat, much less doing the actual daily (or twice daily? See? I don’t know anything about goats!) milkings. And even though I would love to learn (and actually plan on learning this winter) how to make cheese, this is not a reason to get a goat.

So to let me say one more time, I am not getting a goat. No way. Nu-huh. Nope. Nyet. No goats for me…